November 29, 2010

I've never had a blog before so this is all new to me. Probably no one will end up reading it anyway, but it might be fun to give it a whirl. At first I wasn't sure what I would blog about, but then I remembered this thing I started doing back in November. It's like a diary, only not as personal and instead of writing I type it. Actualy, I wish my real diary was on the computer because writing a lot hurts my hand.

But I digress...I'm starting with an entry from back in November because...well, that's the beginning. I prefer to begin at the begining.

Dear Diary, November 29, 2010

(Pointless Questions?)

Why do things turn out like they do? Only God knows. Isn’t it weird that we ask questions that we already know the answer to? We ask them inside and sometimes out and although the answer is in our heads we still search for it. Or maybe we know the real answer and aren’t satisfied. Perhaps we are merely searching for some other truth which may satisfy what we truly want; not truth, but to appease ourselves.

(Blessings and Tears at Christmastime)

I’m listening to “Christmas Makes Me Cry” by Mandisa. When they talked about people who have lost loved ones and the soldiers, the man says, “and I wonder why it’s them instead of me.” It really did make me cry. I wonder that. My heart breaks just thinking about those men and women spending this season out there away from their families. Some of them have children; little ones. Some of them have wives or husbands. And they’ll be apart this Christmas. Some of them may never even see each other again and they won’t have this last Christmas together.

So yeah, sometimes Christmas makes me cry too, but it’s like with the song: “Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope”. I thank God that my Daddy isn’t out there, I thank God for those people out there fighting for my freedom, and I cry because I know they must be hurting and I have it so dang good.

(Isaiah 55: Promises)

For school today I had to read Isaiah 55. Verse 8 is well known. I usually hear it when people are talking about prayers “unanswered” (quotation marks because technically every prayer is answered, just not always the answer you want), more specifically about lost loved-ones. It says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

But I think that the following verse should always accompany verse 8. If you give a grieving woman who’s just lost her husband regardless of her ceaseless prayers this verse and say, “Hey, God says He just doesn’t think like you.” Then you’ll probably walk away with a bloody nose. Verse 9 cushions the blow of 8: “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God doesn’t tell you a startling and unsettling truth and then leave you hanging. He gives you a promise and a blessing as well, to let you know that whatever He does He loves you and it will all work out for the better.

(Afraid of Death)

Why am I afraid of death? I can tell you; because I’m afraid of heaven. Be it a sin then may God forgive me and help me see the light, but it’s true. I’m afraid of dying and spending eternity in one place. The wiser part of me knows that it’s just because heaven is an unknown and my mortal, human, corrupt (I sound like a really nice person, huh?) mind can’t comprehend the magnificence of it. Still…During my Youth Bible Study with…Paul Tripp I think it was, Mr. Tripp described heaven as an original Rembrandt that he wanted to see at the museum but could only see one dark corner for the many people who were also looking at it. On earth we can only see one shady little corner of heaven; imagine what the full “painting” will look like?

On the other hand…well, I love God. He has blessed me so much and even brought me to tears a number of times; a feat not easily acquired. But to even begin to think about spending all of eternity praising Him…well I just don’t know if that sounds all that great. People talk about how the “streets will be paved in gold” and people will be able to “walk again and feel no pain”. Well have they thought that there won’t be any physical things in heaven: no elements like gold, no feet to walk on, no bodies to feel pain. Lots of people, deformed, decrepit people, may have the consolation that in heaven they will be made beautiful or something. What is beautiful? If our “bodies are temples” and we’re going to leave them then we won’t have them in heaven. So we won’t have eyes to see and beauty as we know the definition is something pleasing to the eye, pretty much. Maybe in heaven the true definition of beauty is perfection and pleasure. Like a good laugh: 100% pure and full of bubbling, seemingly endless joy. Perhaps in heaven that joy will be endless. I’ve wished I could just laugh forever. Maybe, and I say maybe because I’m just musing here, the true beauty of things will be completely revealed and it will be so wonderful that its’ magnitude will never fade. Like love. Love must be the greatest piece of heaven we can see on earth. It is bubbly, full of endless joy. It never fades or goes away, if it is true. Yes, I think that’s right. 1 Corinthians 13 gives the most clear unperturbed definition of love ever. Verses 4 to 7 describes love. Verse 8 says simply, “Love never fails”.

Oh, and check this out. The rest of 8: "But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part (in part may mean part of what we know about…what we can know about well, heaven. Or God.), but (get this part) when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." Then he gives the analogy of being a child and thinking about simple things and then growing up, you learn adult things; like a revelation to greater things. How ironic that he gives this description of what it’ll be like in heaven in the “love chapter”. Sounds like my ideas weren’t too far off track then! Love is it. Love is in all things, it holds all things together, and it keeps everything going whether we realize it or not.

~



Gosh, that was a long post! Hope at least someone was able to understand all that. :)