To Save a Life

Dear Diary, 28 May 2012

To save a life...

Ever feel like there’s something so much greater that you should be doing?

Something that could drastically change another person’s life?

I mean, what are we here for anyway? To have a good time? To not screw it up? To be successful? I don’t think so. We’re here to be a light in the dark world. To represent a  greater force at work.

But how? How am I supposed to do that?

Lots of people are hurting, and many are suffering because they don’t have a wonderful a life as I do. I get frustrated with people in politics for not seeing things that I think are obious, but what if they feel the same way about me? What if I’m the one not seeing?

I have so much, and yet I get mad at people for not giving away their surplus. Well, what about mine? I do the very same thing!

Do you have a best friend? Well, have you talked to that boy who always sits alone?

What makes me angry is that this whole concept has become so cliché.

The good Christian teen hangs her head ruefully, nodding in agreement as the youth pastor rants on about being a living ministry. I’ve heard it a thousand times, and still I duck out of awkward situations. When there could be a lull in the conversation, I hightail it out of there. If I can’t think of something to say, if I’m afraid of tripping over my words (as so often I do), I just don’t go there.

Mankind has an inferiority complex.

All of us forget that we’re all in the same boat.

That perfect girl, that untouchable guy, they’ve sinned just as much as anyone else, and they need Jesus just as much as I do. So what if they think I’m a loser. If I’m not giving love away, that’s just what I am. 

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him.¹

I know what it’s like to be alone.

No, I haven’t had it as bad as some, but I have felt that awful loneliness when it seems nobody really cares. 

Even now, with the wonderful friends I have, sometimes ugly thoughts sneak in, whispering doubts into my head.

What do I really have to offer?

What makes me so special?

And the most groundshaking one: The only thing good about me is Jesus…does that mean that I am worthless?

I wonder this often.

But the truth, the truth that we have a hard time understanding, is that we are all living parts of God. The magnificence of this is often taken for granted – I forget every day how special I am because of the fact. It’s not just that I was this absolutely worthless piece of trash and Jesus came in to fill me with Him and only then was I worth something. Of course, that’s also true. Bear with me. Yes, He did come in and make me beautiful, but it was also Him in me originally that drew Him to me, and I to Him.

We’re all chosen, before the creation of the world, for Him.

It’s confusing, because it seems that not choosing some people, automatically condemning some to Hell sounds atrocious; Yet 2 Peter says, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” That’s a whole other subject, though.

In John, Jesus tells His disciples, “Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me because I live, you also will live.”² For in Him we live and move and have our being. ³ It’s not that all of us is stripped away, is trash to Him.

He loves our hearts. 

He loves that we love Him and that we want to worship Him and be with Him.

Thinking in terms of either perfect heaven or damnable Hell…Hmmm, I’ll take the former. I don’t think that’s really what Hell is. In the Bible, it’s described as a fiery furnace, everlasting torment, yadayadayada.

But what if Hell is being dead and being forever apart from God. 

Here on earth, He is everywhere. But what if Hell is merely an absence of God’s presence. His light forever gone from us. That’s the real pain.

Think of every good thing in your life. And know that it came from God.

Imagine all of that good stripped away. Gone forever.

That’s Hell.

The Lord doesn’t look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Did the boy who OD’d know that? Did anyone ever tell him that he was loved for who he was?

Did that girl who sold her body ever hear that she was beautiful on the inside and her appearance didn’t matter?

Maybe somebody should tell them. Maybe I should be the one to put me aside and get in their lives.

If we both did that, you and me – for real, not just saying “yeah, that’s a good idea…” – then who knows.

Maybe we could save a life.

Verses:
1 1 John 4:16
2 John 14:19
3 Acts 17:28


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I'm Always Thirsty

Dear Diary, 12 May 2012

I'm always thirsty...

“O God, You are my God,

earnestly I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You,

my body longs for You,

In a dry and weary land

Where there is no water.”

Psalm 63:1

Whoever wrote this completely recognized his deprivation. He knew he was empty and that he needed to find something to fill the cracks in his heart. Jesus told the woman at the well, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Not physical water, or course, but a metaphor. A metaphor for the fulfillment that Christ brings into a person’s life.

Seriously, the feeling is indescribable. It’s this joy that makes you happy no matter what you’re doing, where you are, or who you’re with. It makes you smile at people; it bolsters your courage to talk to others. And it gives you an all around sense of peace.

Without it, I’m lost in the desert. Not fun.

“I have seen You in the sanctuary

And beheld Your power and Your glory.

Because Your love is better than life,

My lips will glorify You.

I will praise You as long as I live,

And in Your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

With singing lips my mouth will praise You.”

Psalm 63:2-5

“Seen You in the sanctuary” I take to mean I have seen the affect You have. The next line confirms this translation with “[I] beheld Your power…”

 It’s strange to think of praising God as long as you live. That seems like a long time with a lot of work. But thinking back to the first verse, praising God and giving Him the glory only requires letting Him live though me. Let him hydrate me with His goodness, and it will shine forth like light, showing other people His “power and glory”.

Power and glory sound like loud, triumphant nouns to be used in reference to warriors or kings. Sometimes though, the most meaningful things come in small doses. The extent of power and glory cannot exceed the emotion vested within them. In other words, a person is only as powerful as long as other people obey. Glory is only meaningful when there are other people to marvel. God’s power and glory are so extensive they reach out to every single heart and touch it in a memorable way. It may be through hearing a “still small voice” ( which isn’t really a physical voice because that would be creepy, more it’s a feeling) or witnessing the affects of that glory. I think the latter was what David was talking about in the verse.

Sometimes we just need to hear praises to God.

They don’t have to be ours, but just hearing them gives a sense of peace and comfort.

I liked this from “Jesus Lives” by Sarah Young.

Come to Me with the difficulties that are weighing you down. Even though there is no relief in sight, your troubles are actually light and momentary – from an eternal perspective. Your problems feel so heavy because you have given them too much power. Each time you focus on them and forget about Me, you empower them a bit more. Even small objects placed very close to your eyes can obscure most of the vista before you. I want you to put your troubles down long enough to view the cast expanse of Life that is sprad out before you – all the way into eternity!

The best way to lay your problems down is: Bring them to Me. Unburden yourself by pouring out your heart to Me, for I am your Refuge. As you release your woes to Me (even temporarily), your vision improves and you can see Me more clearly. Linger with Me while My Light shines powerfully into your heart. This Light illuminates the knowledge of the Majesty and Glory revealed in My Face. This is the eternal Glory that outweighs all your troubles.”

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:8

Sources:

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idk about the rest :P

There was a Girl Named Annie

Dear Diary, 7 May 2012

There was a girl named Annie...

"Annie"

There was a girl named Annie, she had a very pretty face
And not the way you think so let me see if I can try to explain it
She had a smile that could light up the room and if she moved it'd be moving in you
But she wasn't like a magazine, she was just plain Jane and her name was Annie

She never looked in the mirror, she never liked what she would see
And even if I tried to tell her, she never listened to a word I'd say
She always wanted what she never had, but never had what she needed so badly
Someone telling her she was fine and that's not right and it's why I'm saying

Annie don't be shy here, Annie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around
Annie don't be shy here, Annie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself
Cause you're beautiful

I didn't know if I could tell her, I didn't know if I could make her see
She didn't need to find her beauty, she didn't need to find a way to show me
They took her moments of feeling alive and made them moments of dying inside
She needed someone to scream her name, to take her pain and it's why I'm screaming

Annie don't be shy here, Annie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around
Annie don't be shy here, Annie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself
Cause you're beautiful

And Annie you are the one sight my eyes never tire of, it's like I cannot get enough of you
Annie you are the one song left in my symphony, like you were made for me

Annie don't be shy here, Annie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around
Annie don't be shy here, Annie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself
Cause you're beautiful

~

How many guys talk to girls like this? How many boyfriends look at their girlfriends and tell them that they are beautiful as is.

One Direction's song What Makes Your Beautiful has the same affect. Seeing what's on the inside, not just the outside.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)

A common misconception stems from misinterpretation of this last verse. It doesn't mean to not wear makeup or jewelry or to braid your hair, because that's just ridiculous. Rather, it means don't be defined by what you look like. Don't draw your worth from what you see in the mirror, because it will always disappoint you. And if it doesn't, then it won't last. "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." (Isaiah 40:8). This life is temporary, and so is everything else that shows on the surface. The stuff on the inside, the thoughts and questions, loves, ambitions, and motivations are eternal. They'll follow us even past death.

What that guy liked about Annie was who she truly was; he loved her heart. He didn't care about how pretty she was, but the depth of his love for her allowed for him to see her real self...and he thought she was beautiful.

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Jesus Loves Me...but Why?

Dear Diary, May 1, 2012

Jesus loves me, this I know...but why?

I’ve always wondered this but never given myself a plausible answer. This past weekend, my youth group did the 30 Hour Famine…a thirty-hour fast to raise money for World Vision. Guest speakers, including our pastor, came before our small youth group to lead discussions. One was the importance of life, and how we must have consideration for other people since God deems all mankind special. That’s when it came up: Why? Why does God think we’re special? Why does He give a flip about us?

Why do I have to give to God? I promise Him my heart, but then I go and defile it, giving it away to other people after I’ve sword to devote myself fully to Him. He forgives me when I turn back to Him, but then I go off again eventually. Why does God love me? I’m broken. I’m imperfect. I screw up all the time. Sometimes, I hate myself for messing up, for being flawed when I know the right way to live. “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.” Psalm 13:5. There are moments, though, when I feel empty. What about me does God look down and say “that’s why I take care of her.”

One of the dad’s helping out during the Famine gave us the answer after he presented the ominous question, “But why does God love us,” followed by a silent room of teens glancing around at one another for the answer. “Because we are made in His image.” “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…’ So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him Genesis 1:26,27.

At first, that brings a deluge of clarity. “Oh, I see! In His image, so He looks at us and sees a piece of Himself. That endears us to Him.” Makes sense. But wait…so, my face? God looks at my body, my image, and loves that? What about all the stuff underneath my skin, in my heart and in my mind, where all the real action takes place? Isn’t there some redeeming quality about my personality, about my ambitions, my likes, my dislikes, my talents, that God loves?

Actually, I battled this question last night. I felt very depressed, thinking that there was nothing really about me that God loved. Nothing that was different from anyone else.

This morning, He put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Really?” I didn’t expect to think about this topic or even to write about this, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. It’s not a physical image that God looks at. “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at His physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” 1 Samuel 16:7.

My heart. The part of me pulsing through my entire body, keeping me alive. My heart. Filled with all the things I keep inside, the thoughts no one else hears. God looks at that part of me, and He still loves me.

He looks at my heart, and He sees His image. “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1 John 4:16.

This isn’t something I can shed off, like the fleeting emotions of infatuation. This love is deep and entrenched in my soul forever. “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39. “’Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10.

It’s something special in every person. God delights in His chosen, but He also feels deeply for those who do not choose to ask Jesus into their hearts. “’As surely as I live, declares the sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, O house of Israel?’” Ezekiel 33:11. (Just a side note, “house of Israel” represents the people He has created – people with a purpose, people created for a reason. That’s everyone!)

God loves me! “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent Hi s Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10. If this doesn’t convince me that God loves me, then I don’t know what will. He shed His blood, he experienced excruciating pain for me. For you. He looks at your heart, and He sees a reflection of Himself. He remembers when He formed you, carefully, specially. He made you to look like Him, inside and out, and He gave you a future. He said, “I love you so, my dear. I will always be there for you, even when you forget that I’m always watching, always making sure that you will be alright. Nothing will ever diminish my love for you.”

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