Dear Diary, 27 June 2011
(Got Work?)
Last week was so busy! Our church's VBS occupied 80% of our lives, the other 20% being consumed by my visiting cousins. One day, Gaby got sick, then on Friday both my mom and I came down with colds. Fortunately I didn't lose my voice like she did, but the two of us were out for several days. During that time, I watched movie after movie, episode of LOST after episode of LOST, and wished I felt better. Then it struck me...if I weren't sick, what would I be doing? VBS was a great chance to put my time to a productive use, but the rest of the time I pretty much just sit around. At least right now, during the summertime. I could argue this point, saying that it is indeed summer and that's what it's for! But then, getting things down and doing some real, hard, dirty work is so satisfying. Once I was determined to clear all the leaves from one side of our house. It was hard, and yes, very dirty, but in the end I was so proud of myself for completing the project. Falling into bed that night, I was able to sleep soundly and contentedly because I knew that I had completed something.
Tonight when I go to sleep, I don't think I'm going to feel content for having finished the co-op on Portal 2 or widening my experience in TF2. It's the physical labor that is so satisfying to me.
(The Temptation to Do Nothing)
Last night I went to a friend's youth group. It was so different from my own church's youth worship, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It was different, and I wouldn't exactly say better, but I enjoyed the way that everyone was simply praising Jesus and not worried about what everyone was thinking or who was watching. Yes, it was big, and there were a lot of people, and yes I did feel a bit intimidated since I only knew three people out of the thirty odd folks who came. However, it was a good experience. The speaker's name was Jeremiah and he had just returned, as is true for several other teams at their church, from a mission trip. He reiterated what many of those youth were feeling: the "spiritual high" that comes with going weeks on end with nothing but Jesus, fellowship, prayer, Bible reading, and more Jesus. Unfortunately, the world, as Jeremiah told us, wants to take this fire away. He urged all of us to move away from distractions that surround us and focus on the one relationship that is above all: the one between me and Jesus. Distractions are everywhere and they come in all shapes and sizes, they can be watching LOST all the time (as I have been struggling with lately), they can be giving in to a negative emotion, or they can simply be doing nothing! One big distraction is merely the temptation to not do what is right (or to do nothing). Being tempted is not a sin, for even Jesus Himself was tempted, but giving in to that temptation is. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." Isn't that a great verse?!
(I Care!)
What's the opposite of love? I liked Jeremiah's thoughts on this. He said that it is apathy. When you think about it...yeah. Hate is a powerful emotion, driven by passion, and is usually the result when someone is hurt by something. To be hurt, you must first be invested emotionally and love isn't too far from that. Apathy, however, is not caring one way or the other. Apathetic people, I imagine, as Hitler or Stalin or some other totally evil guy who would have ten people shot without even a wince. Often times, when somebody asks me what I want, I'll say "I don't care." Alright, that isn't a heartless thing to say, but it is wishy-washy. Sometimes I answer that way because I want to pass on the decision making to someone else. So in that case, I really do care. I should instead just say so. "How about you decide." If then the response is "No, you go ahead" then I suppose I should. It's hard sometimes because I don't want to seem bossy. But I don't want to be apathetic either, so from now on I will say "I care!" ^.^
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