Wednesday, October 26, 2011

26 October 2011 (Satisfy Me)

Dear Diary, 26 October 2011


Why do I always strive to be better than everybody else? Why can't my first thought be "Wow, it is so cool that she can do that!"? Instead, I am always comparing myself to others. In my mind, what one girl can do I am "probably better at" or what that guy is able to do I "could do it if I wanted to". What will it take for me to face up to the fact that I CAN'T??!!


Maybe, if I just let go and admit that yes, I am not the fittest, most attractive person in the world or no, I am physically unable to run three miles straight, perhaps then I could hone in on the attributes I do possess and sharpen those. It is according to my experience (with myself) that people always crave more. If I stopped wanting more, what would that look like?


Satisfaction. That is the word that I crave. Forever unreachable, that is the ideal every human being wants. The thing is though, for Christians, we have that satisfaction! We don't need to be searching for more because we've already got it! One verse my mom would nearly constantly recite to me when I was little (to the point of exhaustion) was Ephesians 4:23: "Be content with such things as you have for He Himself said I will never leave you nor forsake you." Jesus is here to not only clean up our messy sins but also to heal our hearts. To let us forgive ourselves.


Being a Christian is all about being satisfied with who we are in Christ! God made us in His image...He said "it is good". We are "fearfully and wonderfully made". And, thank God, it is not by our abilities that we get this merciful salvation. 1 Timothy bluntly says "we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." 


We are commanded to "not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present [our] requests to God." (Philippians 4:6) By "Him all things were created" (Col. 1:16) and He will "satisfy the desire of all living things".


I don't need to look a certain way or be a certain thing...what I do need is Jesus to make me whole.

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