10 October 2013
~
Trapped between windows...
Ever feel like you’re dumbying
yourself down to meet other people’s “normalcy”? Like you possess all this
potential, but you continuously keep it hidden so that you’ll fit in with the
multitudes of your peers. Wear the right things, say the right things, go to
the right places, talk with the right people. It’s all an act. Maybe it sounds
rather conspiratorial, but the world is keeping teenagers under a tight rein
with misconceptions of adolescence and by progressively lowering standards.
Adolescence…what does that word
really mean? Defined, it is “a period or stage of development, as of a
society, preceding maturity.” Basically,
it means that based upon other people’s standards, we’re not yet fully developed.
We’re thrown excuses like (and I know you have heard this at least once in
your life), “Your brain just isn’t fully developed.” Does that mean that I
shouldn’t be held to the same expectations of a regular human being? Isn’t the purpose of so
called “adolescence” to get from one place, immaturity, to the state of being
mature? In the box of adolescence, this is not possible. There is no exit. There is no fire escape.
All we have is a front window and a back window, and we’re stuck on the inside
to decide out of which one to gaze.
Both windows are enticing, but it’s
the combination of two possible lives that confuses us. Being a kid seems like
fun, so we want to hold onto that aspect. On the other side of the wall, being
an adult seems to accompany a host of responsibilities that our maturing brains
desire.
Oh, but we’re still adolescent. So
no need to worry about those...responsibilities yet.
What’s ridiculous is that some of
us realize that this “normal” is not the way things should be, but we still go along with it nonetheless.
Because it’s what the cool people do. It’s what those girls who have all the
friends do. It’s what that guy on the football team does. Hours upon end, we
converse about meaningless subjects without one ounce of authenticity. The
average teen is expected (and therefore complies) to be consumed with up to three
things: (1) appearance, (2) school, and (3) members of the opposite sex. Of course those
things are important to a certain extent in society, but the level at which we
absorb ourselves with them oftentimes amounts to, quite frankly, nothing. The verdict is predictable: We’re
all ugly; we all hate school; and we all want a girl/boyfriend. What a limited
scope of opportunities!
After completing some neurological
research on the development of the brain, Professor Frances Jenson was quoted as saying, “You
think of them [teens] as these surly, rude, selfish people. Well, actually,
that’s the developmental stage they’re at. They aren’t yet at that place where
they’re thinking about – or capable, necessarily, of thinking about the effects
of their behavior on other people. That requires insight.” Perhaps this is just me, but I find being stereotyped as "surly, rude, and selfish" insulting enough before heaping a truckload of excuses on top of it. Despite all of her education and researching, what Professor Jenson really came up with was a long, scientific excuse for the misbehavior of young people that actually limited them to the very characteristics which she criticized. And all under the banner of "mere adolescence".
Plus, maybe this is very
John Locke of me, but I don’t really like it when people tell me what I can’t
do.
Additionally, I find Jenson's quote borderline humorous. My six year old
cousin gets in trouble because "he knows better”. Why should teenagers be
exempt from having the most basic of social skills: consideration?
Truly, nobody is born with the ability to function flawlessly in Society, but it is essentially the responsibility of the older generations to teach the younger ones how to "rule" the world. After all, it will be ours somebody. Dr. Jay Giedd
from the National Institution of Mental Health commented, “It’s sort of unfair
to expect teens to have adult levels of organizational skills or
decision-making before their brains are finished being built.” Besides calling for a lowering of standards for teens (which we will be ever so happy to meet, by the way), the Doctor indirectly proposes a frightening prospect. Teenagers lack the required understanding, so why bother trying to teach them? These types of excuses surmount to explain why we young adults carry big red targets on our backs every day of our lives.
In retrospect, it's no surprise that our expectations for ourselves have decreased dramatically as well. Typical teenagers call the kid who
knows more about physics a geek, yet that kid will probably go on
to become one of the nation’s leading experts in science in the next decade or two. The girl who recites the Lord of the Rings like some girls rattle off song lyrics is considered weird by teen
society, but most likely she will go on to be a prominent literary scholar while they're still trying to hold a job.
In short, we have our priorities
misplaced. The frustrating reality is that nobody is willing to do anything about it
unless everybody does, and we all know that is never going to happen. We can harp on this subject for days upon
days, but merely knowing doesn’t change anything. We have to act NOW. We have to decide that the present circumstances are flawed and assume that we’re
the only ones with the capacity to realize it. We have to be willing to go
against the grain even if the world is telling us we're mess-ups. We have to
challenge ourselves in the venues which God calls us towards regardless of
what our peers will think or say.
Perhaps if we genuinely devoted
ourselves to doing the hard things, to taking those God-given opportunities, to not shying away from being the smart kid or the geek,
then Society’s standards would begin to change, and this time for the better. Maybe together we can make a difference by getting rid of the "myth of adolescence" and by "growing-up" America. For as Martin Luther King Jr. perceptibly
said, “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”
