11 December 2011 - Holy Dissatisfied

(Holy Dissatisfied)

Dear Diary, 11 December 2011

The world is fickle. It does not know what it wants, even if it shouts from the rooftops a particular demand or obsession. Apple releases a new iPhone or iTouch every few months. You can buy one this month and it will be the hottest “must buy”, but in six months, that’s old news. Once the initial excitement has worn off, there is another, more desirable item just out of reach.

The entire modern world is living with its hands outstretched, stretching its fingers out as though being able to grasp the next thing will achieve happiness. Unfortunately, this is not the case. In my own life, I know this is true. For the longest time, I begged my parents to let me go to sleepovers. Years would go by when all I wanted was that. Finally, I was given the privilege. What did I do? Continue on with my life in sublime satisfaction? Indeed not. Next was ear-piercing. Begging and nagging ensued until finally that allowance was given me as well. Next makeup. I was given face makeup. Next driving. My friends had all received their driver’s permits, after all. Last week, I attained my own. Now what am I doing? Happily accepting driving lessons when I can with no other complaints or requests? I wish I could say that was true. Now, my things are 1) a second ear piercing and 2) the permission to where eye makeup.

So I fall into the trap too. One night, I confessed this dissatisfied tendency to my mother. “I always want something more,” I told her, feeling like a whiny little kid. “But that’s good, to a degree,” she told me. “if you don’t look forward to anything, you have nothing to motivate you.” True, wise mother!

As Christians, we are motivated by a theoretical “dangling carrot”, if you will. We press on for the goal ahead, which is Jesus and living with Him in perfection. My question is this: is there such thing as holy dissatisfaction? Sounds funny, and a contradiction. However, perhaps the two aren’t as different as they seem. Waiting builds character, but if waiting were easy, it would not build character. Hoping, wishing, wanting increases your (and when I say “you” I mean “me”, too) dependency, your faith, in God.  For Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

I think Barlowgirl provides a good
example of how a Christian should act
in this world.

Part of being a Christian is being dissatisfied with this life! The only thing is that changing our focus from God to earthly things produces the kind of worldly discontented state I talked about earlier. Constantly, I have to remind myself: Go to God, go to God, go to God. If I don’t go to God, I rely on myself to make decisions, which never ends well. Without going to God, I go to the world for my needs and wants. They can never fulfill them. Not with an iPad, not with a cute pair of jeans, not with some flashy boots, not with a new haircut. I shouldn’t be wholly discontented, but instead I should be holy dissatisfied.

“We can not change the world if we are looking and acting just like this world.”

-Lauren Barlow